Housewife Life: Grieving my cat

If you follow me on Instagram, you will have seen the decline of my sweet cat Lexi, but here is the full story.

We adopted Lexi in September of 2005 mostly because we thought our cat Twitch needed a buddy. Lexi became the light of my life. She was very skittish in the beginning, but she was always next to me. For years, she would sit next to me and groom while I put on my makeup in the morning.

Soon after we adopted Lexi, they were a bonded pair.

She loved Twitch and after a few years, Chris became her favorite human. She was always grooming Twitch and covering his litterbox deposits. She was a serious mouse hunter. She loved Christmas trees. She loved scrambled eggs with cheese. She also loved parmesan cheese and milk. She was always skeptical and never liked to be handled. But once she trusted you, she loved you so much.

The first time she slept on Chris's lap!

In July of 2016, Lexi was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, which meant we had to give her medicine every twelve hours. The first few weeks were rough, but we fell into a routine that both of us could handle.

Greeting us upon returning home, almost always together.

In March of 2017, we lost Twitch due to an undefined neurological issue and Lexi and I grieved him together. She became my shadow.

Without Twitch, we started allowing her into the bedroom at night and she would sleep on my hip or lower back most of the night. She became much more vocal about needing to be fed. She played more, she cuddled with us more.

Morning cuddles

At the beginning of June, she began hiding at medicine times and it became difficult to get her every dose. She was losing weight again. On Sunday, June 10, we decided to move up her yearly exam, so I had planned to call the vet the following day.

On Monday afternoon, she began running into walls, so I rushed her to the vet and they confirmed that her retinas had detached, leaving her blind, and began to run tests.

Blood tests confirmed the worst, she had mid-stage chronic kidney disease, and super high blood pressure. So we added blood pressure medicine to the daily routine and began feeding her a low protein diet.

She hated it and continued to lose weight, so we were faced with a decision. Continue the low protein diet that she wouldn't eat and let her waste away, or go back to the food she loved and know our time with her was limited.

Lexi was at least 18 1/2 years old. We decided quality of life was better than quantity at this point and went back to the food she loved.

After a weekend at the kennel, she was acting strange, so we took her back to the vet on July 3. We found out her kidneys had deteriorated much faster than the vet had anticipated and she had progressed to end stage kidney failure.

Cuddled in her favorite blanket

We decided on Tuesday to give her fluids, a B vitamin shot and get a few more days with her. She laid on my lap almost continuously her last few days, and I knew she felt horrible. Lexi was not a lap kitty. It was always a big deal when she decided to lay on your lap and she never did it for long. The last few days, she was on my lap, cuddled up against my stomach for 90 minutes at a time.

I basically made loving her my job for her last few days. If she wanted on my lap, I provided a lap.

Friday, July 6, we took her to the vet and held her as she took her last breaths.

My heart is broken and I feel like our house is missing some essential part of its energy. As I am writing this, it has only been two days, and I am really, really sad. I don't know how long it will take to stop feeling for her in the morning before I get out of bed or how long it will take me to wake up without my first thoughts being about feeding her. I feel a little lost...

Have you lost a pet? Share your story in the comments